“Sobering Up”

Today’s suggestion was ‘Sobering Up.’ I will be taking suggestions for running commentary from now on as I have nothing interesting to talk about, but other people seem to, and I will do my best to use every suggestion. The one restriction is the suggestion must be either one word, or a phrase, like ‘sobering up.’ This is less writing and more just thinking and roaming around my mind with little or no sense of direction. It is my mind, so things will be addressed from my point of view, with my thoughts. This is a conversation. Ask follow up questions, disagree, contribute, or just leave a suggestion below and I’ll make it happen… Anything. Literally: anything.

Sobering up for me is a tricky, if not impossible task, due to the fact that I don’t drink. I am of legal age, and have never really considered that the reason to, or to not, drink, but it was the cop-out excuse when people offered me drinks when I was under 21. The real reason I don’t drink is because it tastes like piss. If someone took a beer into the bathroom and came out I’d feel obligated to make a wise crack about the coincidental color of his beverage. People tell me “you’ll get used to the taste” or “once you start drinking you don’t even notice it” or “you don’t drink it for the taste.” That sets me off on a few directions…

You’ll get used to the taste.

I don’t understand the trouble with acquired tastes. Why would you want to acquire a taste? It tastes bad, but everyone else likes it, so you just say you aren’t sophisticated enough yet, and keep chugging away until your as sophisticated as a motherfucker. It tastes bad now. Nothing will change once I’ve acquired the taste — except now it tastes okay. Something had to change. Then it must have been me. My theory is drinking shit piss beer and wine tastes awful, but you have a great time because you get to be silly and ‘lose’ your inhibitions. I just think alcohol is just an excuse to do things you want to do anyways, or act how you want to around people without feeling bad, or god-forbid; awkward. Sociologist or Psychologists or one of those professions followed a bunch of different college students on their spring break trips to beachy places south of the border and caught some girls, who were completely sober, go around and act drunk and do stupid drunkie things just to fill that little space in their minds that tells them what they don’t want to hear. I’ve had a few drinks before, and I’m not completely talking out of my ass here, but I was pretty much the same after a few drinks. The only main difference is I didn’t ever think about where my hands were (not in that way you perverts). It just seems like people are ashamed that their base instincts are raucous and loathsome, and their searching for an excuse to set them free. Personally, I have no trouble being stupid without alcohol, so I can’t really use any excuses, and don’t want to taste them either. So if you hand me a drink and ask me how it tastes, I might respond, “tastes like an excuse,” and you’ll think I’m being an asshole.

Once you start drinking you don’t even notice it.

What I’m wondering is what are you noticing now that’s more important than swallowing piss? Do you want to be deaf or blind? If the answer is no, then why do you want to be numb? I don’t have a good answer to that question, and until I do, I’m not drinking. If I can’t taste my own excuses, know they’re there, then I’m no longer aware of myself, and thus my effect on my surroundings. Personally, I am a very aware person. Sometimes I act like I’m not just so the people around the corner, or whispering, don’t get paranoid around me. It’s not so bad if you let people know you can hear them talking ‘out of earshot;’ but when you keep letting them know, well then nobody says anything interesting anymore.

You don’t drink it for the taste.

Well then what do you drink it for? Yourself, or for others? Are you really that miserable of a person to be around that you need to drink to make others enjoy you? Are you really that miserable of a person that you need to drink so you can be happy with yourself? Is a party not fun unless there’s alcohol? Do you think I’m full of shit and just need to chill out and have a beer because I don’t understand anything? Honestly, I don’t care what the answers to any of those questions are as long as you regret nothing and stand by your choices. If you like drinking; great. Drink. Drink with confidence — just don’t talk about it the day after as if you didn’t mean to or you shouldn’t have or like you are regretting it for the seventeenth consecutive weekend.

So on the topic of ‘Sobering Up,’ now I’m thinking about “what do I need to sober up from.” Everyone’s got problems. That’s life lesson number one. But not everyone knows it… That’s a life lesson for another day.


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