Pencil sharpeners are whores. And you’re the pimp. We all know this. Even since a young age we would have dozens of pencils and only one pencil sharpener. You stick in pencil after pencil, red, blue, orange, pink, number 2, hard lead, soft lead — some don’t quite fit, but you cram them in anyways — it doesn’t matter to you. All that matters is the pencils keep getting sharpened until they go out into the rough world of paper, get dull again, and need to come back. Pencils come and go, but you use that same poor sharpener until it too, dulls and can no longer function, and you get a new one. It has seen so many pencils, but can’t seem to remember any of them. It’s all such a blur. This lonely pencil just wants one connection that will last, that’s all it asks. It just wants to feel special. In a perfect world you would have one pencil sharpener for every pencil you use, but this isn’t a perfect world. You line up the next pencil sharpener and make sure it is tight and firmly mounted on the wall. You add a drop of oil to prevent squeaking, turn a blind eye, and start lining up pencils again.
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allmostrelevant 
I’ve thought that before …
haha nice!
[…] Check it out here at the Lonely Pencil Sharpener. […]
Reblogged this on One Good Tale and commented:
A whole new perspective on pencil sharpeners…who would’ve thought?!
Thank you!
Oh this was brilliant. Such a simple metaphor but so convincingly and effectively used!!!
:)
thank you so much. glad you liked it!
Your writing style is so casual and effortless; I love how you gave a new perspective on pencil sharpeners (they’re such whores!) while implying they are a metaphor for something greater. I’ll never look at pencil sharpeners the same way. :P
haha glad you liked it!
Sweet Mama says, “That’s right, as long as the pencil is sharp you’ll keep getting oiled.”
This is pimptastic. I didn’t realize you posted already or I’d be here sooner.
New Request and dont hold back now: Two E’s
glad you enjoyed like the pimpification of pencil sharpeners
…hmm, your requested title has striking similarity to your name.
don’t worry, you can count on me to take every suggestion completely out of context :) haha
Now I have a guilt complex. :D
I love this so much. It is perfect. Nothing less.
Thank you so much!
You weirdo. I love it. :)
Weirdos are good writers.
Yeah! *sticks tongue out*
*realizes looking in mirror*
*turns off lights*
*writes some more*
*i have no idea how to use *these**
I like the way you think.
I shall quietly put my pen-knife away……
😨
Great piece! And I totally love the outlook of your blog…very refreshing! Good job!!!
I love that word: refreshing… or at least what it means.
thanks a bunch for the comment :)
Thats an interesting insight.
This is awesome.
A very intriguing insight into the world of pencil sharpening. Lol.
-Yasmin
haha thanks for the comment. glad you liked it!
You are truly unique. I love that and thank you!
thank you thank you!
by the way i love your thumbnail pic haha
I found you, because you joined me on my journey… ;-)
I suspect that we are in the same profession, based on your knowledge of playgrounds and pencils. I’m not ready to quit yet, just changing things up and going back to my roots.
I’ll. Be. Back.
:-) (and lots more of those)
thank you for the smileys! I’m actually not a teacher, but I love teaching if that counts.
Freaking genius XD that is such a creative way to look at things ! I can’t wait to see more !
haha thanks abunch — now be gentle with those pencils!
You had me laughing at the first sentence. “Pencil sharpeners are sluts.” I love it. And we are the pimp. Thank you. Every time I sharpen something, I will most likely giggle to myself and when people ask me what is so funny… The only thing I will be able to think is “Wow, this sharpener really is a slut, look at it take all those shavings like a pro!”
Love,
Ness
haha glad you like it. I give a lot of credit to my ol’ pal Freud.
I love your name by the way
Thank you! I have to give half the credit of the name to my pal, Eric, who I share the blog with.
Haha, It seems we have a similar friend in Freud!
Love,
Ness
I loved this, but the first line should be “Pencil sharpeners are whores.” Sluts don’t carry the same meaning anymore.
ah, good idea. i see what you mean. thanks for the input :)
That’s very interesting… you think of the oddest things… so, do I. I liked that.
haha glad you enjoyed it. It was my first Request post. I love thinking about new things, so if you, or anyone else reading this provides a title for me that’s typically 1 or 2 words max, if I think of something, I’ll write about it.
“Two E’s” gave me this title, and I ran with it
How interesting! I’ll be thinking of something! :)))