Tag Archives: BS

Okay, so Just lie there. yeah. sprawl out like that.

But I’m hungry.

Uh, here. Have these grapes, and just tilt your head back and slowly dip them into your mouth.

Why can’t I eat them normally?

Because this is art. We have to capture the essence of what it means to eat grapes.

Can’t you just hang some grapes up and then paint me in later. My arm’s getting tired and I’m going to have a sore neck in the morning.

It is essential that you hold them… for the uniformity of the piece.

I still don’t get why I have to be naked. I’m getting cold.

You’re not naked, you’re expressing the vulnerability of mankind.

Then why can’t you just get a naked man?

No! I mean–it wouldn’t be the same. For this particular work of art I need a young female in full bloom; otherwise it won’t work.

You haven’t even set up the canvass yet.

I’m getting there! I told you, I need to visualize. You know… art. Just, just eat the grapes and let me work — slowly.

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“Defenestration”

When I hear “defenestration,” I think of two things. 1: Frustration, because it goes well with defenestration; eg: “it’s frustrating that auto-correct thinks defenestration is a word while defenestrate is not. I need to find a window and defenestrate my frustration.” And 2: What is fenestration? The act of catching things flying in through the window? I sure hope so. I find not the need for such a silly word because indubitably  the word begs the question of “what does it mean?” And so you have to take the time to explain the word which makes you appear pompous and highfalutin because you’re intentionally saying things that other people know, but are being exclusive by using such elevated diction. Such language can be used to exclude people from a ‘circle,’ or conversely can be used to make people feel a sense of belonging, or closeness; like an inside joke. You offhandedly mention defenestration in conversation and have to explain it to a friend, but next time when the topic naturally arises, your friend knows what it means and feels special. We should all use plain and simple words and no one should feel special! Ever! Or maybe I’m just jealous… and had to google “defenestration.”

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