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Life is a one-liner.

No it’s not!

Well it’s not now. Why’d you have to ruin my one-liner? I had a perfectly fine one-liner until you came in with your stupid line. It’s not like we can just take it back. We’re stuck with it.

Well you don’t have to pretend like it doesn’t exist. Without that second line you would have never been able to make that third line. Maybe we ARE stuck in this together, but it wouldn’t kill you to see the good in it.

…Oh, what a mess. look at all these lines. What are we going to do?

We’re going to deal with it.

Can’t we quit without saving, or ctrl+alt+del?

Could you be able to sleep at night?

No… probably not.

I could… I’m scared.

If it’s really what you want then, then I’ll do whatever makes it easier for you. I don’t get much sleep anyways.

I’m going to miss you.

You don’t have to.

I want to.

Ready?

Yeah…

–END TRANSMISSION–

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“It’s better to start slow and finish fast than to launch out of the gate and crawl across the finish line.”

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Baggage

You know at baggage claim when a bunch of the people from your flight are all waiting around because your bags haven’t come yet because maybe one of the baggage cars got unhitched and meandered onto the runway or something. Either way, everyone’s kind of in this daze, but not because they don’t have their bags–I think it’s because there’s always that one big bag that looks kind of old or is a bright gaudy color, that keeps doing laps around the carousel. And so everybody just watches it, licking their lips, half jealous to the point that they consider grabbing it so they have something to go home with, but really you just can’t help but wonder, “what’s that guy doing?” I know they didn’t miss the flight ’cause it was full, and it’s been a half hour, did he get stuck in the lavatory or something, or did he have to finish his in-flight entertainment ’cause he just had to see how Lincoln was going to end. And they couldn’t have taken someone else’s bag because there’s no possible way two pale green corduroy suitcases were ever made. This one was certainly a mistake. Maybe that’s why it’s been abandoned. There’s probably nothing in it. The owner probably just checked it so they could leave it at the airport and not have to deal with it anymore. If I ever try to leave my baggage at an airport like that I’ll at least have the decency to tape a “4 Sale” sign to it so someone else can grab it.

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