Tag Archives: writer

Life is a one-liner.

No it’s not!

Well it’s not now. Why’d you have to ruin my one-liner? I had a perfectly fine one-liner until you came in with your stupid line. It’s not like we can just take it back. We’re stuck with it.

Well you don’t have to pretend like it doesn’t exist. Without that second line you would have never been able to make that third line. Maybe we ARE stuck in this together, but it wouldn’t kill you to see the good in it.

…Oh, what a mess. look at all these lines. What are we going to do?

We’re going to deal with it.

Can’t we quit without saving, or ctrl+alt+del?

Could you be able to sleep at night?

No… probably not.

I could… I’m scared.

If it’s really what you want then, then I’ll do whatever makes it easier for you. I don’t get much sleep anyways.

I’m going to miss you.

You don’t have to.

I want to.

Ready?

Yeah…

–END TRANSMISSION–

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“A novelist is a failed short story writer,
a short story writer is a failed poet,
and a poet is a failed quotationist.”

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“In the occupation of writing, very little time is spent actually writing. A writer’s job is to think in a way that has never been thought before… and I don’t think that pays the bills.”

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“There’s something about quotation marks that makes something you said seem more important than you thought it would be.”

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The Process

I consider myself a writer, but when someone asks me if I’ve written anything, I can’t give them a straight answer. I say “kind of” or “I’m working on something right now” and then go into explaining a project or making something up on the spot. The truth is I’m writing all the time in my head, in my life, and with my life. I see the narrative every day; the irony, the suspense, the folly, the heartbreak, the joy, the triumph, and sometimes even the foreshadow. Writing isn’t about how you can put words on paper, but how you take in and interpret the world so that others, and you yourself, can see it in a new way… so I’m writing every day, but what do I get for it? I don’t get paid for it. I feel like I work so much, but so little makes it on to paper, and the stuff that does isn’t even near my best work, isn’t close to what I see every day. It’s like the thrill and challenge of writing is discovering the story as it happens, whether that be in your life or fictionalized in your head. Once I’ve discovered the story I feel as though there’s nothing left to gain or learn from simply by transcribing that discovery on to paper. Obviously that is false, and others can learn from the same discovery of the story, but I’m just saying that’s how it feels to me. Now I’m trying to figure out if that means I’m just a selfish person if I don’t trudge through the monotonous work of writing things down. Other functioning members of society work the same routine and weekday schedule most of their lives just to get by, but for some reason I can’t sit down for an afternoon an focus enough to write out a story. Do I somehow, deep down, think that writing is superior to other occupations? Is that why I’m like this? Or do I, deep down, think that the world is going to end and I’m going to die and the sun will turn into a black hole and all of human history will be lost, so ‘why should I even bother writing a little story?’ I may never figure out why I do the things I do, or why I write all the time, yet still have written nothing; but at least I still have the ability to write, and hopefully one day, trudging through all these roaming thoughts I can find a reason for all this writing—a narrative… a discovery…

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I suppose as your writing teacher I’m supposed to give you an assignment. So for that assignment I would like you to write something.

Is that it?

Yes.

Just, anything?

No, something. Something in particular.

What does it need to be about?

Like I said, something.

Well, if there’s basically no rules, can I just sneeze on a piece of paper and turn it in?

This isn’t art class–there are rules here. I try to keep it simple, but you people keep trying to be creative and keep messing it up, so I don’t add any more rules. I’ve had many students try to write about anything and it never works out.

Okay, so how long does it need to be?

Write until you think I’m convinced, then stop.

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“You can see the world without ever leaving your mind; just make sure you don’t lose it in your travels.”

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