Tag Archives: English

Too Ease

It’s awfully hard to portray anything in English without using any “E’s.” I was trying to do it for a bit, but it didn’t tay clong until I startid chi-ting. Although, I do hav a gnu apprishiashun for how malia bowl thuh inglish laingwidj iz.

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“There’s something about quotation marks that makes something you said seem more important than you thought it would be.”

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Disease is kind of a funny word if you think about it. “dis-ease,” like a lack of ease, ie: slight discomfort. I just imagine a british man from the 1800’s saying to his lady, “I’m facilitating a trifling dis-ease, m’dear.”

You’d think the word for disease should be something like “un-life” or “anti-happiness” instead. Dis-ease sounds so… nice, like getting “let go” from your job, or moving to “assisted living.”

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Why is Johan Sebastian Bach’s name pronounced like “Bock?” It’s a C-H sound; shouldn’t it be Johan Sebastian “Batch?”

No. “Bock” is just the way you’re supposed to say it.

But why?

Because people have always said it that way.

You really such at explaining things.

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“I try to do my best to speak in terms the common man can understand, because after all, I am a common man, and I certainly don’t want to start ununderstanding myself.”

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One of the more interesting entities of the English language is They. “Why are there no raspberry granola bars?” “Oh, They stopped making them.” “I heard the northern lights are dipping down to our latitude tonight.” “I thought They said tomorrow.” “They found a cure for Malaria.” “They say it’s better to be smart than beautiful, but They don’t know me.” 

…Maybe it isn’t even that interesting or that big of a deal, but I don’t care what They say.

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