Tag Archives: culture

ZOMG

I think as a culture we’re so fascinated and scared by zombies because besides not having a heartbeat, there’s not much difference between having a crappy 9-5 job and being a zombie. They’re like the embodiment of the worst version of ourselves. A shell of a human. Basically dead already, but still walking around and going through the motions like we need to keep pushing papers and sending emails because the survival of the species depends on whether or not those quarterly reports that no one reads were formatted correctly.

…I am Jack’s sense of humor.

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Avocado Refrigerator

We can’t attempt to compartmentalize things in life; put the oranges here, the greens in a separate fridge with a different humidity than the cheese will allow, and give the avocados get their own special fridge. Of course each food has its own ideal way it can be stored to maintain optimum freshness and maximize shelf life, but if you catered to the specific needs of each individual food, you’d exhaust your resources, your expenses, and yourself by all the running around you’d have to do just to make dinner. You might think you’re doing a good job of organizing, and this might happen elsewhere, too. “There’s too many files in this folder. I know–I’ll give them all their own folder!” So now instead of fixing the problem, there’s “too many folders in this drawer! I can’t find anything!”

While trying to be fair to the food, you are being unfair to yourself. You need to treat yourself with some respect; and actually by stuffing everything into the same fridge at a uniform temperature and humidity, it’s more respectful to the food too. No one gets special treatment so they know not to ask for it. It’s nothing unusual; it’s just the best option. The food might whine and complain, but who doesn’t complain every once in a while? The food doesn’t care if you do anything about its complaints, it just wants to vent. You might say, “This quinoa is going straight to my hips,” and then eat it anyway. Same thing. Otherwise, if you cater to every food and try to please them all with their own special climate, it won’t work; it never does. And all you’ll be left with is an empty avocado refrigerator.

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Ice Cream

I was thinking about ice cream the other day. Not about how I like Ben and Jerry’s half-baked or cherry garcia or anything like that, but more about how ice cream can save the day.

Society seems so compartmentalized and separated sometimes. You got different income brackets, demographics, different jobs, and even having so many ‘communities’ and subcultures can bunch us up and put us in little boxes. I mean, I get it — it’s understandable that we want to be with similar people with similar interests, because that makes us comfortable, but at the same time we shouldn’t feel uncomfortable or out of place if we hop in another box.

Whether we like it or not, we (people) love comparing. So we got all these boxes that we’ve put our selves in, and so naturally we put them on this ‘existential shelf’ and start saying “this box is better, that one sucks,” “I’m glad I’m not on the bottom shelf,” “Why is the top shelf way less crowded than the bottom? That’s not fair!” So then we start clawing our way to the top, pulling others down, biting ankles, stabbing backs, and the worst part is some actually succeed, however most will fail, and it becomes this big race we’ve made it out to be, and…

We just need to slow down.

There is no race. It’s not a competition. No one can win or lose. We forget that we’re all on the same level; there is no shelf.

This is where I think we just need to give everyone an ice cream cone. Just imagine if you did–for real. Everyone would have to stop what they’re doing and eat it. Big wig business executives in a board meeting, gang bangers meeting up on a street corner, soccer moms buzzing from place to place to place; everyone would stop, look around and see that everyone else has ice cream too. We are all on the same level. We might like different flavors and have our own unique way of eating our favorite cup or cone, but everyone likes ice cream. Relax. No one’s going to jump in front of you and cut you off because they’re also savoring a delicious frozen treat — because that’s what you do when someone gives you ice cream.

You take a moment… and enjoy it. You can’t afford to wait — or it’ll melt.

I am now promoting my twitter account, @allmostrelevant. It’s funny and keeps you notified.

…There

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