I just realized that greeting cards are really redundant. Most of the time you hand someone a card in person instead of mail it, so you can just wish them a happy birthday in person.
But it’s the occasions where you don’t want to confront someone that just beg for an alternative. Like something you’d slip under someone’s door with a cute picture that says “I never want to hear you again. turn your music down.” or “TGIF! Take a shower once in a while.”