Tag Archives: passive

greetings

I just realized that greeting cards are really redundant. Most of the time you hand someone a card in person instead of mail it, so you can just wish them a happy birthday in person.
But it’s the occasions where you don’t want to confront someone that just beg for an alternative. Like something you’d slip under someone’s door with a cute picture that says “I never want to hear you again. turn your music down.” or “TGIF! Take a shower once in a while.”

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Just a Game

Two friends were playing a game, and one kept losing. The losing one was not enjoying losing, and complained, “Why do you even play this game, it’s so trivial and pointless anyways?”
The winning friend retorted, “It’s all about skill and strategy. It looks simple but it’s actually really complex; you just have to be good at it.”
The losing friend shrugged his shoulders. “It’s just a game.”

They continued playing until the losing friend won a game and threw his arms up. “Yes, I’m finally winning!”
The other friend shrugged his shoulders, “It’s just a game.” And set up another round.

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What can I start you off with?

I’ll have the wings

Excellent choice

And I’ll have the onion rings

Excellent choice as well, you’ll enjoy them.

And I’ll have the quesadilla

…interesting.

What?

Nothing.

Should I choose something else?

No, it’s just an interesting choice; that’s all.

What’s interesting? Is that bad?

No, not necessarily. Just… interesting.

Should I be concerned?

No.

Would it be better if I got onion rings?

I mean, it depends on you. If you want a quesadilla, I would recommend you get the quesadilla; but the onion rings would be an excellent choice.

…fine. I’ll get the onion rings.

Are you sure?

…not really, but I have to choose something.

Well, you don’t HAVE to choose anything.

But I’m hungry.

So what do you want to eat?

I said I’ll have the onion rings—no wait, I still want the quesadilla.

Okay.

…Okay?

Yeah. Okay.

So it’s okay with you all of a sudden?

Sure.

Good.

Good. I’ll bring those right out.

Fine.

Fine.

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Angel

I was thirsty and uncomfortable waiting for the flight attendants to roll down the length of the plane and serve me 4-6 ounces of choice beverage. It’s bittersweet having an aisle seat because you can see how far away the beverage cart is. I couldn’t help but notice the name tag on on of the ladies read “Angel.” She looked in her 40’s and had obviously gotten some plastic surgery done on her face. No wedding ring, but she had a tan line where it used to be. I imagine she grew up with everyone calling her their “little Angel” all the time. That would mess you up pretty good, but there’s nothing she can do about that now. She asked what I wanted from her stiff smile and I just said “It’s okay, I don’t need anything.”

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camera

Yes, yes. Smile for the camera. You love the camera. The camera is your friend. You want to wink at the camera from across the bar and buy it a drink.  You want to take it out for a nice dinner. You blink and imagine the camera naked. You love the camera. You want to take it home with you. You tell the camera you love it, but it doesn’t love you back. You’ll do anything to make the camera love you. You start seeing other cameras just to make it jealous, and you make up; but it’s all in vain. You’re living a lie, but you get tired, and can’t keep up the charade… all for the camera.

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