Tag Archives: dialogue

Jeeves, what is this on my forehead?

That wrinkle? That is age, sir.

Wipe it off, please.

There you go, sir.

I need to look dashing for tonigh–it’s still there, Jeeves.

What is, sir?

The age! It’s still there!

No it’s not.

Then what is it!?

Oh that, sir? That’s frustration.

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So… what? Are you saying that movie’s going to be better than the one we just watched?

Well, yeah.

But it’s just an action movie.

Yeah, but the lead is actually a fighter, and the director’s won an Oscar; and the cast is stacked.

Hey; at least I have facts to back up my opinion.

…whatever.

Heh, “whatever?” That’s a good defense–a popular one.

Well, it works.

…whatever.

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The steering wheel is useless unless you are moving.

Yes, and the motor is useless if the first thing you do is crash.

So why are we arguing?

Because that’s the only way anything ever gets done.

I mean, why are we arguing about this? It’s safe to say we both agree on the concept.

Yes, but you insist on being the head while saying I’m just the body.

Oh don’t you go switching the metaphor now.

…This must be what marriage is like.

No. Marriage is like the car you drive; you both don’t like it, but you drive it anyways.

That’s a rather bleak comparison.

It’s the best I could do without a compass.

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Fur is murder!

So are cheeseburgers; but they’re so tasty.

You have blood on your hands!

I use soap.

That’s not a valid argument.

I’m not looking for an argument.

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What are you going to study?

I don’t know. Everything… Nothing.

I mean, what’s your major going to be?

Whatever I end up studying.

Can you spit out one straight answer?

Sarcasm is the spice of life.

…so what do you like to do?

I like writing.

You should be a writing major.

You should be a life coach.

What?

It’s not like it pays the bills or anything.

But you like writing, witty lines, playing with words; so why not be a writer?

I like playing with words, but I’m not just going to jump into bed with them.

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Do you think I’m attractive?

Are you asking me or are you telling me?

I’m asking you to tell me.

It doesn’t matter what I say.

It does now.

 

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Hey, you want a beer?

Sure.

What are you, an alcoholic?

No.

Every time I ask you if you want a beer, you say ‘yes.’

Every time you ask me stupid questions I feel like I need a drink.

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I tried to start a blog, but it didn’t work.

What do you mean by “work.”

Not enough people saw it.

So it wasn’t successful?

Yes, exactly! Like, what do I need to do?

Don’t confuse work with success.

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I’m not nice for no reason.

So what’s you reason?

That’s not how it works.

…?

If I have no reason to be nice, then I won’t be.

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I want the world to fucking burn and die! lol

Are you okay? lol

I’m fine lol… But really I’m not lol

If you want to talk I’m just a phone call away lol

You can go to hell haha. i love you lol

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